I love Miranda Devine so badly that I need to vomit

August 14th, 2005

Miranda’s risen to new heights of tabloid banality today with her column in the Sun Herald today as her vague crusade against internet porn (along with everything else) slowly gathers momentum:

Online porn addiction turns our kids into victims and predators
But as internet pornography becomes increasingly pervasive, making every home computer a potential red light district, Australian parents, in particular, are becoming alarmed.

hahahaha …


This isn’t the first time she’s waved her pink stick at the old internet porn. Some time ago in a thingy she wrote about how “ug: muslims are bad”, she noted that not only did the Bankstown rapists once live in a cave down the road from Osama bin Laden, but “were also avid consumers of internet pornography.”. How the fuck she would know this is anyone’s guess: so undoubtedly, she just made it up - and you know what she’s done in her own ‘tea and crumpets’ way? Attempted to make a subliminal connection from internet porn to terrorism.

Anyway, months of fervent fanboyism (i.e. me reading her tripe for 30 seconds two times a week as a distraction from work) have finally paid off: I’ve Devined (heh) her formula. Miranda generally starts off with a couple of loose paragraphs of poignant shitsmell, followed by reams of quotations from experts just flown in from overseas (or whoever’s handy that will regurgitate her opinion, or at least agree with her on paper) that seem to take up no less than 80% of her column, finally winding up with some lame-ass suburban wisdom she plucked out of thin air whilst driving her Land Rover to pick the nooblets up from school.

One slightly scary thing about this weeks piece though: albeit by proxy (because she is too yellow to say it herself), she’s basically endorsed the use of ISP level porn-filtering, to, you know, “protect children from damaging accidental exposure.” Tsk tsk Miranda, don’t be getting out of our depth now. We won’t stand for some northshore housewife, of all people, censoring our internets.

But don’t get too sweaty and worked up over loving or loathing her, for you’d be falling into her trap. Hell, even little old me has done exactly that by writing this crap. But my excuse is that I didn’t have anything better to do, or that I had to put something up on this page, or I had to take a rest from EUO, or something. Of course I’m not the only one writing about her.

Technorati has 20 Posts in the last 28 days in all languages about “Miranda Devine”. Even the Bulletin has something to cheeky say about her (and good reading too).

If only she still wrote for the Terrorgraph, life would be perfect.

5 comments to “I love Miranda Devine so badly that I need to vomit”

  1. Heh, one of your best.

  2. This is great reading. She’s definately a moron!

  3. This Miranda Devine chick reminds me of the air-headed flip out of ‘Sex and the City.’ Who writes her material? An out of work TV hack? Surely this is some kind of joke? She’s a caricature. Her writers reached a new pinnacle of stupidity and - hypocritically - hyperbole today, here:


    The first 3 pars (at least) - petty and sarcastic. The last 5 pars - they clearly can’t figure out how to finish the rant. And all that remains after climbing onto the perch is a tantrum.

    I’m cancelling my SMH subscription.

  4. In the interest of appearing to be balanced the SMH has to employ Miranda Devine. She is white, conservative and female. A token.

  5. Old news from the Sydney Morning Herald and the Cadaver

    PHILIP RUDDOCK is now Australia’s Attorney General.Philip Ruddock is also known as the “Walking Cadaver.”
    The following is an article from the “Sydney Morning Herald”September, 17th, 1996.
    The Government will cap and kill applications by Australians to bring their overseas spouses into Australia a move which would see long-term separations of married couples unless the Opposition allows through the Senate tough new measures to curb applications.
    The Minister for Immigration, Mr Ruddock,said the draconian move,allowable under present law but never used in relation to spouses, would help curb huge increases in applications for spouses, some of which were shams, but others ‘a fraud on Australians’.
    Under present practise,applications for offshore spouses to come are allowed regardless of the quota set.Mr Ruddock wants to enforce his quota by a cap and queue regulation, making applicants after the qouta is reached to wait, possibly for months, until heading the queue for next years intake.
    But in the face of Labor opposition in the Senate, he threatened to use his general cap and kill power to terminate applications made post-qouta.This would force Australians to apply again next year on equal terms with next year’s applicants, causing indefinite separations.
    Mr Ruddock’s threat, which contradicts the Coalition’s strong pro-family rhetoric but is part of a clampdown on migration numbers,was denounced by Labor’s immigration spokeman, Mr Duncan Kerr, as social engineering.
    The Opposition last week knocked off in the Senate one of several changes to regulations to tighten elegibility for ‘preferential family’ migration,available to spouses and aged parents.Mr Kerr told the Herald Labor would also disallow Mr Ruddock’s ‘cap and queue’ regulation.
    Mr Ruddock told the Herald that if people who had already applied were allowed in,the progam would overstep this year’s 36,700 quota by about 13,000.Rather than allow an overshoot, he would use his general power under current law to cap and kill,unless Labor stopped trying to micro-manage his immigration program by disallowing regulations in the Senate.
    Mr Kerr said that ‘Australians have always exercised their own choice on who they’ll marry,and I don’t believe any red-blooded Australian will allow the Government to force couples to queue up to live together.Now he’s saying if he can’t queue them he’ll cut them off.
    ‘If you meet and marry in January,thats OK,but if you’re a December bride or groom you mightn’t be able to get your spouse in for years.’
    Mr Ruddock said he did not regard cap and terminate as the best outcome, but if it is necessary I will be applying it.
    He said Labor had maintained a steady 37,000 quota for four years,before lifting it last year to 50,000.Many people had reported partners ‘walking out the door as soon as they arrive in Australia.’ ‘The fraud is being occasioned on Australians by people seeking to migrate,’ he said.
    Mr Kerr blamed the increase on the wash-up of the Tiananmen Square massacre,under which Labor granted 40,000 Chinese people refugee status.But Mr Ruddock said there rises in applications accross the board, and the percentage increase was as great in England.”
    JOHN HOWARD-The Lying Rodent.John Howard wants free trade but not the free movement of people.He thinks Australias biggest assets are its sheep, coal and uranium not people.He says he has the final solution to our problems “Too many people.”
    The Blacklist
    “Philip Ruddock gazetted regulations when he was Australia’s immigration minister[number S241 of 1997] to stop visitors from many countries coming to Australia and among them is Poland.[Israel is also on the list as well as the following countries-Bangladesh, Burma, Cambodia, Chile, China, Colombia, Croatia, Cyprus, Czech Republic, Egypt, Fiji, Greece, Hungary, India, Iran, Jordan, Lebanon, Macedonia, Mauritius, Nauru, Pakistan, Peru, Philippines, Portugal, Romania, Samoa, Slovakia, Sri Lanka, Syria, Tonga, Turkey, Ukraine, Uruguay, Vanuatu, Vietnam and Yugoslavia].”

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