Archive for the 'TV/Movies' Category

Oz is fucking the best show on TV right now **

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

I almost can’t stand Bear Busters now: Jamie ‘the moustache bear’ is still cool but Adam ‘whiny bitch bear’ Savage is beyond irritating. Not even Scottie ‘token blonde female with tattoos who can use tools like a man’ welding shit can make up for that fat, orange headed twat acting like an annoying child or having a cry about something.

KellerIron Chef is still pure entertainment but sadly, it’s getting a bit old. So my new favourite TV show right now is HBO’s Oz. It’s been on SBS for a while now, and I only got onto it by accident, but I’ve been watching it religiously now for about 3 months. It might be set in a prison, but don’t be put off by all those dicks … this show has more ‘Ganks per minute’ (gpm) than anything else on TV. As soon as some character gets interesting, or worse, you start to get attached to them, WHAM - shank in the neck, or ZOINK - head into the TV. There must have been a half-dozen murders last nite, the worst/best being my latest fav character, the Reverend Cloutier. An Evangelical preacher played by Luke Perry, I was taken totally by surprise when he was suddenly getting bricked into a wall by the Brotherhood (and that nasty little redhead who is SO going to cop it) to die alone, crying and praying to Jebus. There’s still a chance that next week, someone will find him … but somehow I doubt it.

Feature ganks last nite:

  • Augustus secures Supreme Allah’s demise by obtaining his med records, finding out that he’s allergic to eggs, then organising to have eggs mixed into his brekko, causing him to have a massive allergic reaction and dying all puffy faced, vomiting blood
  • The Colonel tries to gank Morales but fails: instead gets him self squashed under the elevator they were working on together
  • Kareem comes out of nowhere to gank old Vern Shillinger - but I don’t think he’s actually going to die. Another muslim ganked Vern’s lackey at the same time
  • Omar rammed some random latino’s head into the communal TV in a fit of rage
  • Reverend Jeremiah Cloutier got himself bricked into a wall
  • O’Reilly left the gas on in the kitchen and later, one of the wardens lights a fag only to blow himself up
  • At least one other that I’ve forgotten the details for

Other Oz Trivia

  • The warden is played by the 4th Ghostbuster, Ernie Hudson
  • one of the main cops in Law and Order:SVU (a show I don’t watch btw) plays Chris Keller, this nasty serial killer who was by miles the best character till he got sent interstate after, ironically, taking a rap for a murder he didn’t commit
  • Vern, the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood, was also J. Jameson in Spiderman 2
  • Another Law and Order cop, the lead female in Criminal Intent, Detective Eames, played Shirley who was hung on death row for killing her daughter or something

Mythbusters is fucking the 2nd best show on TV right now *

Tuesday, February 1st, 2005

Jamie & AdamThere’s this new show airing on SBS called Mythbusters where these two tech & junk-addicted bears blow stuff up on a regular basis under the (pretense of destroying urban myths) and enjoy it. Infact, at least one of these guys was responsible for the robot Blendo that was disqualified from some robot wars tournament: it was shredding the opposition and sending burning shrapnel flying into the audience.

This week’s show (among other things) was all about trying to set petrol vapour on fire with the EMF created by a mobile phone (to debunk the myth that phones can cause an explosion at the gas pump of course). For starters, they rigged up a perspex box, about a metre cubed, pumped it full of petrol vapor and strategically placed an old Nokia inside which Adam was furiously ringing in an attempt to create an explosion. After that failed, they replaced the phone with a jacob’s ladder. Anyone who fires up a jacob’s ladder at a gas station probably deserves to be necrotically Darwinised.

So to hell with queer eye and their stupid twink makeovers; bears setting stuff on fire is TV at its leopard-skinned finest.

* the best show on TV right now is Iron Chef